principal.

School is retarded. Honestly, I'm pretty sure if it had a brain, it would be like it didn't. That doesn't make sense. But if you slightly understand, you know what I'm talking about. Like, my principal says he always understands, when really? He doesnt. At all. It pisses me off.

the stars, they're more dead than alive.

It's been a long time...

I'm scared of myself. That sentence alone is unhealthy. I've been feeling cold lately. No, it's not the weather. I know that much. It's me. My thoughts, my actions, my everything. Maybe it's the lack of God in my life.. I'm not totally sure.

I've been pushing everyone away lately. The people that say they care for me, or they love me. I push away, automatically. I start fights with those who tell me such things. I think it's because everyone is the past that has said that, they leave me. So when the new people saying it, when they leave, I won't be that hurt. I mean, I'm kind of getting used to it now.

I feel like I'm falling back into the ways I used to be.. Back then. That's why I'm scared of myself. I know what I'm capable of. What I can do. What I don't want to do... I'm already breaking myself down.
I need someone, something. To help me.

I wish money grew on trees. Then I could pay off this library bill and continue reading books that have been helping me. Then I could also buy a new zune and have the music that helps me everywhere I go.

I want to be happy again... Maybe I should go back on anti-depressents. Or go back to God. The second one would probably be better.